Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
I am Ng Rycca from Telematics (Intelligent Transportation System Engineering) (TLM) course in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). I have previously graduated from Multimedia and Infocomn Technology at Nanyang Polytechnic. I have great interest in railway systems and satellites and i hope to become an engineer who can make a great difference within the engineering industry in the future. In addition, i also have a great passion for dance and piano as well and i have been taking them up since young.
Communication is something that i enjoy doing especially when it comes to deep and meaningful conversations. I am good at communicating with different types of people of all ages as i have learnt to understand from their point of view and empathize with their situations. For instance, during a group project in poly, one of the members was very aggressive and firm on her decision without considering the group's overall opinions. I kept my cool and listed down the pros and cons so that she was able to have a clearer picture and she finally understood.
On the other hand, I can be nervous in stressful situations which sometimes might affect my performance depends on the situation. For example, during my final presentation for my internship project at my internship company, I felt quite pressurized to a certain extent and i did not express myself as confidently as how i want myself to be. My mind went blank for awhile due to nervousness and i did not show my fullest potential. I also spoke alittle too fast.
Since i am a person who is open to taking up challenges so as to accelerate my growth, I hope to be able to speak more comfortably in stressful situations and be able to convey my message confidently and to my fullest potential. I also aim to become a smoother communicator wherever i go and in every good or bad situation. Thus through this module, i will pay closer attention to my own communication skills and make a greater effort to improve them gradually.
I look forward to learning new communication strategies and seeing new growths of myself and others through class interactions and tasks during the module. Thank you for your time.
Yours Sincerely,
Ng Rycca
I am Ng Rycca from Telematics (Intelligent Transportation System Engineering) (TLM) course in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). I have previously graduated from Multimedia and Infocomn Technology at Nanyang Polytechnic. I have great interest in railway systems and satellites and i hope to become an engineer who can make a great difference within the engineering industry in the future. In addition, i also have a great passion for dance and piano as well and i have been taking them up since young.
Communication is something that i enjoy doing especially when it comes to deep and meaningful conversations. I am good at communicating with different types of people of all ages as i have learnt to understand from their point of view and empathize with their situations. For instance, during a group project in poly, one of the members was very aggressive and firm on her decision without considering the group's overall opinions. I kept my cool and listed down the pros and cons so that she was able to have a clearer picture and she finally understood.
On the other hand, I can be nervous in stressful situations which sometimes might affect my performance depends on the situation. For example, during my final presentation for my internship project at my internship company, I felt quite pressurized to a certain extent and i did not express myself as confidently as how i want myself to be. My mind went blank for awhile due to nervousness and i did not show my fullest potential. I also spoke alittle too fast.
Since i am a person who is open to taking up challenges so as to accelerate my growth, I hope to be able to speak more comfortably in stressful situations and be able to convey my message confidently and to my fullest potential. I also aim to become a smoother communicator wherever i go and in every good or bad situation. Thus through this module, i will pay closer attention to my own communication skills and make a greater effort to improve them gradually.
I look forward to learning new communication strategies and seeing new growths of myself and others through class interactions and tasks during the module. Thank you for your time.
Yours Sincerely,
Ng Rycca
Dear Rycca,
ReplyDeleteIt was great meeting you and reading you introduce yourself. I'm glad we do have some common interest in regards to dance too!
I felt like the sentence structure on the part when you mentioned "since i am a person...." could be phrased with "I am always willing to take up challenges to accelerate my growth." simply. Overall I felt that the sentence structure have some minor tweaks to improve on and I'm sure with lessons to come, we can improve on it together too.
I look forward to seeing you in class coming week!
Warmest Regards,
Josephine
Dear Rycca,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this well developed intro letter. I enjoyed learning about your background and interests, in particular, the wide breadth of 'passion' you have. I'm curious about your piano playing and dance in particular. What type of music do you play? And what about dance: ballet or hip hop or what?
Though there are some language issues, this letter generally presents a clear and concise response to the assigned task. The language issues -- some of which seem to simply be 'sloppy' -- might be summed up as these:
1. Caps
This is a formal writing assignment. Please capitalize the word "I" appropriately.
2. sentence structure/use of commas
-- interest in railway systems and satellites and i hope to become an engineer >>> interest in railway systems and satellites, and I hope to become an engineer
-- In addition, i also have a great passion for dance and piano as well and i have been taking them up since young. >>> In addition, I also have a great passion for dance and piano, having practiced both since young.
-- I kept my cool and listed down the pros and cons so that she was able to have a clearer picture and she finally understood. >>> (comma placment) ?
-- On the other hand, I can be nervous in stressful situations which sometimes might affect my performance depends on the situation. >>> (missing comma/wrong form of the word 'depend')
-- Many of your lengthy compound sentences need commas between clauses. See https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/comma.html
3. verb issues
-- i did not express myself as confidently as how i want myself to be >>> (verb tense error)
I also note that you weave together a good discussion of your communication weaknesses and module goals. We will certainly address the area of speaking as we go forward.
But let’s work on revising this letter. Take note of the changes I’ve asked you to make. Think about the principles (rules) involved. You can improve your language use, and I look forward to helping you.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. Usually i would love to play baroque and romantic pieces on the piano. As for dance, I dance ballet, street jazz, contemporary and korean pop. But i am open to trying other genres as well.
I will take note and work harder to improve my language skills and be more aware of what the capital letters such as 'I' when I type online, as I will not make this mistake if it was written down by pen.
Thank you for your time.
Regards,
Ng Rycca
Dear Rycca,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing with us your self-introduction letter. It was well written and it had interesting points in it as well. I really enjoyed reading it, especially since it included your dreams and hobbies. Your self-introduction flowed smoothly and it addressed all the points asked. However, there could be room for improvement. For example:
1) The letter “I” when used to describe yourself should be capitalized instead of using “i”.
2) For the second line of your second paragraph, it could be phrased better. It can be phrased into “I am good at communicating with people of all ages and of different backgrounds. This is because I have learnt to understand from their point of view and empathize with their situations”.
3) For the last line of your third paragraph, it can be phrased into “To add on, I spoke a little too fast than I should have”.
All in all, your letter of introduction is fairly well written. Let’s continue to work and support one another in the weeks to come.
Kind Regards,
Atiqah